This I Believe Rough Draft w/ Feedback

          This was my rough draft for my first paper that I thought was ok at best. Im glad for the feedback I was given it helped me to see any mistakes I had and I was able to finish it up. With this feedback I was given it showed me that I did have a good paper going it just needed some adjustments.

               In my entire life I only remember moving once and that was when I was four years old and about to be a big sister. I was unfamiliar with the house and the only other comfort I had was that I was getting a sister and a bigger house to live in. I liked the new house; it was bigger and I had a larger room to play in but it felt emptier. But once my birthday rolled around, I got to have a friend, my parents got me a puppy before my sister was born.         

                  I vaguely remember the trip to go get the puppy. I just see my father’s back as he walks into a house and then comes out with the puppy. I held him in the car as we drove home and I somewhat remember my father telling me about how I now have a responsibility of taking care of the dog. I would have to remember to get his food and play with him mainly but the fact that I was given responsibility at all made me feel important.

         Then my sister was born, and I wanted to help out my mother in any way I could with her even if it was just handing her whatever she needed like an empty bottle or the tv remote. All I wanted to do was help no matter if the task was big or small or if I didn't need to do it. I just wanted to have time to help out my mother while taking care of my dog because I felt like it was something that needed to be done.

         I somehow ended up teaching myself responsibility at that age not really knowing properly what it was. I just really wanted to help out around the house, but I couldn’t do much because I was too small. My mother then told me “don’t try to do to much at once do what you can first then try to do more.”  It has still stuck with me to this day that I should only do what I can to the best of my abilities and don’t overexert myself. I always try to follow that saying but I sometimes end up doing more than I am capable of so it’s a good grounding phrase.

         But having a younger sister and a puppy helped me to become more responsible at my age. It shaped me to always help out anyone in need if I can, but never do it forcefully do it on your own terms. Which I am glad to know as I have been described to be a pushover by many people.